Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Is this your final answer?

For those that have been following our story about the twins and school, we have decided not to fight the school and to separate them. This really has nothing to do with the fight to keep them in the same class. I know that I would have won the fight, and I will continue to push for legislation to give parents of multiples a voice. But, for us, we've decided that it's better for both of them, but especially Zach, to have them in separate classes. Ryan has been going through a really rough time lately. I was attributing it to a growth spurt, but as I studied him more, and looked for the indicators to help prevent his tantrums and other behavioral issues (ok, so that's the special ed teacher in me. Especially when I use words like "indicators", lol), I saw it stemming from Zachary.

Zach has always been the quiet one, complete opposite personality of Ryan. Ryan's a Type "A" personality (and so is daddy, and so is Alex. Boy am I in for it!). He's a natural born leader. Zach has always been content to follow in Ryan's footsteps. But, in the last few months, Zach has really "come into his own," so to speak. He's stepped out of Ryan's shadow. Things that before only Ryan could do, Zach is starting to do. And, Zach is starting to do some of those things better than Ryan.

Ryan has put all of this together (though he can't really verbalize it, since he doesn't know how to express that type of feeling in words). He has reverted to the "I can't do it" syndrome and has become very needy, which is so unlike him. He's typically Mr. Independent.

So, to avoid behavioral problems in school, and to give Zach a chance to thrive, on his own, and to help the teacher (so that Ryan won't be demanding all of her attention, like Ryan does with us), we've decided to separate them. And, we'll see how it goes. If it turns out that them being apart from each other is having a worse effect than the separation, then we will put them together. However, if this works, my original plan still stands; that we'll continue with this until they are old enough to make the decision themselves.

I am both saddend and happy by this decision. Saddened because I know how close they are, and because, well, I suppose because I wanted them to be together. But, I am more happy and confident that we have made the right decision for them. I am glad that we caught this in time. I don't want any of our kids to be labeled as a problem child, or as having behavioral issues. I want them to flourish in school and to love school like I did. I think this is the best scenario for both of those things to happen. So, if you are the praying type, keep us in yours. Not only in kindergarten a whole new journey for all of us, but I suspect it will be a bit harder on the twins without having the other there to help them.

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